From the Mouths of Babes
by thomas hobbs
Summary: Totally AU.  If the Potters had accepted Dumbledores help.  Not Slash
1. Chapter 1

From The Mouths of Babes

This is totally AU. It is set in a universe where Dumbledore managed to convince the Potters to hide using his help, Voldemort failed to find them and didn't accidentally kill himself. Harry is now about 5 years old and his parents are still alive. The war wages on, unabated.

The Man who is a Death Eater

The man with the big nose is asleep at the table.

Uncle Siri says the man with the big nose is a bastard. Dad laughs and says he is a greasy bastard. Mum says that if she hears anymore of that language they will both feel the blunt end of her wand. But she smiles when she says it so I can tell she is not really mad.

The man with the big nose snorts and tries to find a more comfortable angle for his head.

The table looks uncomfortable, but Uncle Siri says that the man normally sleeps hanging upside down so the table must be more comfortable than what he is normally used too. He can probably sleep anywhere if he can sleep upside down.

I have seen him fall asleep in a Meeting. I am not allowed to go to Meetings but onetime me and my best friend Ron hide in the smelly den that used to be where the old house elf lived and we get to watch some of it because none of the grown ups know we were there. We got caught really soon though, because Ron sneezed.

Ron has lots of brothers. His favourite brother is Bill because he plays chess with him. I like Bill too because he has an earring. I told mum I want an earring and she said only over her dead body which did not make any sense because I would have to stand over her all the time, dangling the earring. And I don't want my mum to die.

Ron also has a little sister. His little sister is annoying because she follows us around. Sometimes we tell her that we are playing hide and seek and tell her to go hide and then we go do something else. One time, Ron's mum caught us and she yelled at us for a very long time. But I like Ron's mum anyway because she makes nice food.

Ron likes the man with the big nose because one time he caught two of Ron's brothers, Fred and George, going through his special bag and he talked to them quietly for a long time and they went really pale and scared looking. Ron likes it when Fred and George get told off. Ron's dad didn't like it though and he told the man with the big nose that he would thank him not to talk to his sons like that. The man with the big nose bowed and smiled at him then walked away. The smile was not a very nice smile, it didn't make his eyes crinkle up at the ends like most other people's smiles do.

The man with the big nose looks sick at the moment. He is very pale and has dark shadows under his eyes.

When I am sick my mum makes me a potion. Dad says mum is a very clever witch who can brew anything. Mum looks sad when he says this. One time the man with the big nose told mum that she was wasting her life and her talent on a man with nice smile and barely suppressed Sadistic Tendencies. She slapped him. I think they would have started yelling at each other but they remembered I was there. So instead the man with the big nose smiled his not-very-nice-smile and walked away. I asked mum what "sadistic tendencies" meant but she pretended not to hear.

So I asked Uncle Remus instead and he told me that someone with sadistic tendencies is someone who enjoys hurting people. Mum wouldn't talk to someone who enjoyed hurting people so I think the man with the big nose was just trying to wind her up. He does that a lot. He sometimes asks Uncle Remus if he has eaten anyone recently, which is not very nice because Uncle Remus has a Disability and you shouldn't make fun of people with Disabilities.

The man with the big nose has just opened his eyes. They're so black that you can't see his pupils. He's narrowing them at me now.

"You are Potter's brat, aren't you." he says.

"I'm not a brat" I say.

"But you are a Potter, aren't you?" he asks. He says this in a really mean voice.

"Yes" I say.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I can't sleep".

"Well run along, mini-Potter, little boys who wonder around at two o'clock in the morning are liable to get eaten by the monsters that lurk under their beds" he smiles his not-very-nice smile.

"Why doesn't your eyes get crinkly?"

"What?" his eyes widen like mum's do when I ask her something strange.

"Why don't your eyes get crinkly at the ends when you smile?" I grin at him and point at my eyes to demonstrate.

"Would you prefer it if I did this?" and he narrows his eyes and draws back his lips so that all his teeth are showing. His teeth are yellow and crooked. It's scary

"No!"

"But my eyes are all crinkled up at the ends" he says. Somehow he manages to keep his face like that while he says this. I start to giggle. He pokes his tongue out at me between his teeth.

"What are you doing?" says a voice from the door. The man straightens up. His face becomes blank.

"Morning Evans" he says. He sounds like Uncle Siri does when he's trying to annoy someone.

"It's Mrs Potter now, thanks" snaps mum from the doorway, "What are you doing with my son?"

"Recruiting him" says the man, smiling his smile.

"What?"

"Your son's about to become the youngest ever Death Eater" says the man.

"How dare you say that infront of my son" says mum, in the special low voice that always makes dad look scared.

"What's a Death Eater?" I ask.

The man turns and smiles properly for the first time, "I am" he says.

"Is there a reason you are here?" says mum, still in the special fighting-with-dad-voice.

"I have to report to someone" says the man-who-is-a-Death-Eater.

"At two o'clock in the morning?" snaps my mum.

"Death Eaters don't plot at two in the afternoon over a pot of Dilhma, don't be mislead by our open and sharing nature and our many community orientated projects".

"Fine….Harry, go to bed. You…..You can report to me".

"I don't think so….Mrs Potter. I should be reporting to someone whose responsibilities extend beyond making nutritious snacks and massaging god-like egos. In short, I think it might be a good idea if you would totter upstairs and find me someone who isn't a house-wife".

"Do you think you're clever? Hm? Mr Barely-Reformed-Death-Eater. Do you think you're impressing anyone with your little speeches and your juvenile insults?"

"I wouldn't aspire so high, I intend merely to annoy" The man-who-is-a-Death-Eater smiled his not very-nice-smile and nods at me, "Don't you think you should take mini-Potter of to bed, little house-frau?"

Mum narrows her eyes at the Death Eater Man and grabs my hand. Hard. "I expect someone will see you in the morning, if you object to telling me so much".

"Brill" says the man and he puts his feet on the table.

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	2. Chapter 2

Uncle Siri Gets Angry

The next morning everyone is woken up by Uncle Siri yelling at the Death Eater Man. Uncle Siri can be very loud.

The Man-who-looks-like-Father-Christmas says that we are Ultimately Made of the Same Stuff and that we should treat each other with More Respect. When I asked Uncle Remus what treating people with More Respect means he said that it means that we should be nicer to everyone. Mum says the same thing and she also says that the way the Ministry treats non-humans is shocking.

Uncle Siri now has the Death Eater Man pinned to the wall.

When we first moved into Headquarters Uncle Siri used to get really angry with the old house elf. One day he ordered it to go hang itself. I found its body, it made me vomit. Mum said that Uncle Siri didn't really mean to order it to do that but he has a temper and sometimes he loses control. So I asked mum if it's ok to not treat people with Respect if you are angry. She pretended not to hear.

Uncle Siri is really angry now. The Death Eater Man is hissing at him, like a snake and Uncle Siri's face is slowly going the same colour as my red fire truck.

Ron doesn't have a red fire truck. He said that it is not a wizard's toy. But mum said that I should have some connection to muggle culture so that I can Empathise with it. She said that wizards go Bad when they start convincing themselves that muggles and non-magical beings are less than human and that therefore they are Justified in Perpetrating Atrocities against them. She said that learning and understanding each other is the only way to Overcome Hatred

Uncle Siri is holding tightly to the Death Eater Man's neck now and banging him against the wall. The Death Eater Man's face is turning purple, like a plum. Everyone else is very quiet.

The Man Who-looks-like- Father-Christmas walks into the room and yanks Uncle Siri away from the Death Eater Man by the neck of his robes. He looks really angry. The Death Eater Man flops to the ground and gasps like my old goldfish when I took it out of its bowl to show Ron.

The Man-who-looks-like-Father-Christmas grabs the Death Eater Man's upper arm and yanks him to his feet. Then Father Christmas drags him out of the room and slams the door.

Mum finally breaks the silence, "You shouldn't have done that Sirius".

Uncle Siri shrugs and flops down at the head of the table, "It's my house, someone has to teach that Greasy Bastard some respect".

"Still you could have hurt him….." Uncle Remus starts to say quietly.

"And what a pity that would've been" says Dad.

Mum spreads her hands and sighs, "I hate him just as much as you all do. Maybe more, he sold my family out to the Death Eaters and forced us all into hiding. He put my baby's life in danger and destroyed my career. But we can't allow ourselves to sink to his level….."

"I didn't hear you complaining when I was throttling the bastard" says Uncle Siri.

"I know. But Sirius, your setting a poor example for Harry".

"Give it a rest Lily, anyone would think you're in love with the ugly git" says Dad.

Mum starts to look really angry. "And why would they think that James, just because I don't like my son to watch people being throttled".

"Snape's not a person, he's an exceptionally ugly type of bat" says Uncle Siri. Everyone laughs, including Mum.

"Besides, Harry's not upset, are you Harry?" Uncle Siri bends down in his chair so his face is level with mine and he winks. I shake my head. I don't want Uncle Siri to think I'm a baby.

"So how about some breakfast Lily?" says Dad and he pulls me up onto his lap so I can see over the table. Uncle Siri ruffles my hair and leans on the two back legs of his chair. Then he smiles so you can see all his teeth. His smile now is even scarier than the Death Eater Man's smile last night.

Mum is really good at potions. But she's not really a very good cook. She once told Uncle Remus that if she didn't really want to became a good cook because that would mean that she was turning into Molly Weasley and that James might expect her to stay at home and start popping out babies. She then said she wanted a career after all this is over. Uncle Remus said she shouldn't worry about it and that James didn't marry her because he wanted her to be a human-house elf.

The man who looks like Father Christmas comes back into the room with the Death Eater Man. Father Christmas smiles at everyone and sits down at the table.

"Severus would like to apologise to you Sirius" he says.

The Death Eater Man's face looks like it's not really a face but a mask. "I'm sorry that you keep trying to kill me, Black" he says.

The Father Christmas's smile disappears. He places a hand over his forehead and sighs into his beard. "I suppose that's the best you're capable of Severus. Now Sirius, could you please be the bigger man and tell Severus that you're sorry you were….."

"Throttling Severus" says the Death-Eater-Man.

"Attacking him" says Father Christmas, firmly.

"I'm sorry I attacked you Snape" says Uncle Siri.

Father Christmas smiles tiredly at him and weaves his hand at the Death-Eater-Man, "You may go Severus…Try to find more about the Ministry spy and the Death Eater patronage network in Berlin".

The Death Eater Man bows deeply and leaves the room. I wonder if I should have offered him some of my breakfast, he doesn't look like he eats very much.

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	3. Chapter 3

Masochist

I don't see the Death Eater man for an entire month. Uncle Siri says he has Betrayed us all, Dad says he hopes he's dead, Mum and Uncle Remus don't say anything.

I've started having nightmares about finding the Death Eater man dangling from the end of a rope like the old house elf. Mum is getting worried about me because I've also started wetting the bed. She thinks it's because I'm scared of the Death Eaters coming to get me. I don't tell her about my nightmare.

When I do see the Death Eater man again its because of the nightmare. I wake up because my bed's all wet and I can't get back to sleep because I don't want to see the dead Death Eater man in my dreams. So I go downstairs to get a glass of milk, Mum says that milk helps people sleep at night.

I know I should wake Mum up, so she can change the sheets and find me clean pyjamas and tuck me in. But she might try to get me to talk about things again. And Dad is getting really annoyed about me wetting the bed. He says I'm a big boy and Mum should stop mothering me. Mum snaps back that maybe I wouldn't have this problem if he wasn't such an insensitive arse. Then they start fighting. I don't like it when they fight.

When I walk into the kitchen and turn on the light the first thing I see is the Death Eater man holding some frozen vegetables to his eye. He doesn't notice me so I make a little coughing noise like I've heard Uncle Remus do when he wants to talk and no one is paying any attention to him.

The Death Eater man jumps a little bit and looks at me. For a few seconds he just seems surprised, then he looks down at my pyjama bottoms and sighs.

"You've wet your bed" he says. I nod.

"Well that's fantastic" he says. Then he sighs again.

I drag a chair away from the table and climb onto it. I can just see over the table if I sit on my legs. I stare at him over the table top until he sighs for a third time and removes the frozen vegetables from his eye. It's all swollen and purple.

"What?" he snaps.

"What did you do to your eye?" I ask.

He laughs. It's not a happy laugh. "I walked into a door" he says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I'm a masochist" he says.

"What does masoti…"

"Masochist"

"...chist mean?"

"It means I enjoy pain" says the man.

"Oh… I don't" I say.

The Death Eater man laughs again. He sounds slightly happier.

"Is that why you visit here?" I ask, "Because you think Dad's a sad…sad…."

"Sadist?"

"Yeah"

The Death Eater man cocks his head to one side and looks hard at me. "Where did you learn that word?"

"You said it to Mum. You said to Mum that she married a man with sad tentacles".

He laughs again. "Sadistic tendencies maybe? Accusing James Potter of having sad tentacles would be a rather puzzling insult".

"Yeah……what you said….and Uncle Remus said that sad….ist means enjoying hurting people".

The Death Eater smiles his not-really-a-smile and narrows his eyes "You pick up a lot of what's going on around you, don't you?" he asks. I shrug.

"You'd make a good spy" he says. I don't know why but I suddenly feel a lot taller.

"So you think your father, who enjoys hurting people, and myself, who apparently enjoys getting hurt, are a match made in heaven?"

I shrug again. "I've never seen Dad hurt anyone" I say.

"No" he says. "I don't suppose you have".

"Although Uncle Siri wasn't very nice to you".

"No he wasn't" he says.

"Do you like him hurting you? Is that why you visit us?" I ask.

"Not especially no". He sighs again. "I did something really bad and this is my penance"; he looks at my face to see if I understand. "How I make up for it" he adds.

"By letting Uncle Siri beat you up?"

"I suppose that is part of it".

"When I do something bad I have to sit in the corner for a while and then say sorry".

"It's a little more complicated when you're an adult".

"… So if you do something bad to someone when you're a grown up you have to visit them so they can beat you up?"

He laughs again. "Only if you're really unlucky. Are your pyjamas uncomfortable?"

I had forgotten about them until he asked. After he asked they started to feel all sticky and itchy. I nod.

"Stand up" he says.

I climb down from the chair. He stands up and moves around so he's standing in front of me. He takes his wand out and flicks it casually at my pyjamas. They go back to being dry and clean.

Then he kneels down in front of me and looks me straight in the eye. Even up close I can't see his pupils.

"Did you have a nightmare?" he asks. I nod.

"What was it about?"

"You"

"Oh…" it's like he can see inside my head, "you don't have to worry about finding me like that". An image of the old house elf floats through my mind. He sighs, "Black really is psychotic".

"What does psychotic mean?" I ask.

He smiles his not-very-nice-smile, "Ask your mum".

I yawn.

"Show me where your room is and I'll fix your bed for you" he says.

I nod and grab his hand. He looks really surprised but lets me lead him upstairs. He stays with me until I fall asleep.

He's not there when I wake up.

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Thank you to those of you who pointed out mistakes, especially whitehound. I'm sorry about my shocking spelling and grammer. I am really bad at picking stuff out myself, so if you see something could you point it out.

And thank you to all the wonderful people who reviewed. You are wonderful.


	4. Chapter 5

Manipulating Masochists

_It hurt, Holy Mother of God did it hurt, The pain was all consuming and in a strange way that was nice. It took his mind off things, it narrowed his world until it was nothing but the pain and the pain was him. It was his mother, his father, his lover, his friend, his....._

"Better?" Dumbledore asked.

Snape realized that he had been jolted back to full consciousness through the liberal amount of pain-suppressant that Dumbledore had just poured down his throat. Reality reinserted itself, he groaned.

"I'll take that as a yes", said Dumbledore, who was scrutinizing Snape with his intense blue eyes."Well?"

"He suspects" said Snape.

Dumbledore sighed "How?"

"It could be because I haven't given him anything useful in the past five years. Or because you seem to be exceptionally well informed. Or because, despite the fact he's a mad melodramatic sadist with a snake fetish, he's not actually stupid".

Dumbledore look at Snape interrogatively, "Or perhaps you've been letting thoughts like that float around too close to the surface. It might pay to be a little more..."

"Subservient, submissive, spineless, slytherin..."

"I'm sure you're all of those things, when you meet him, or you wouldn't come back. No, I meant that you should perhaps be less... angry".

"If he could sense any of that I'd be dead".

"Maybe he suspects that it's there? Hence his current angst".

"Are you suggesting I should forgive him?"

"Certainly not. However, it may not pay to allow oneself to become caught up in judging him. While understandable this is not really one's function is it?"

"Only upstanding Gryffindors have the right to judge others".

"Only people in less dangerous occupations have the liberty to judge others".

"Maybe.......".

"What?"

"Never mind".

"Never mind what?"

"It's nothing".

"Please share with the class Severus".

"Maybe I shouldn't do it anymore". This came out in a rush, like he had been trying to build up the nerve to say it for some time. Inwardly Snape cursed at how weak he sounded.

Dumbledore studied him intently. "I thought you said you would give me 'anything' Severus?"

"They're safe now......."

"But for how much longer, I wonder, without your vital information?"

"I'm not your only spy".

"But you are my best one".

"I've paid".

"Have you?"

"I worked for him for five years and you for five years. It balances out, doesn't it?"

"Does it Severus? Does five years of penance cancel out five years of sin? I believe your sentence in Azkaban would have been considerably longer than five years".

"I probably wouldn't have been in constant mortal danger in Azkaban".

"Would you prefer Azkaban?"

"Are you threatening me?"

Dumbledore threw up his hands in exasperation and stood up, so that he towered over Snape in the bed. "You helped create a monster Severus. It is your responsibility to help destroy it".

"Fine, I'll fight. I just won't spy anymore".

"Don't you think it's your duty to do all that you are capable of doing?"

"I can fight. I can make potions. I can be useful doing things other than spying".

"What happens if everyone just gave up? If everyone decided that this was too risky, too unpleasant, and just stopped fighting?"

"That would be a lovely way to end the war. If you the Dark Lord and associated lackeys decided that you couldn't be bothered anymore and laid down your arms. Although I admit it would be somewhat anti-climatic".

"You know that is not what I meant". Dumbledore covered his eyes with his hands as if greatly saddened by something. Snape felt an irrational stab of guilt at having caused it.

"I love you Severus, despite all your faults I love you, which is why it pains me when you turn to your baser instincts, when you allow fear to conquer love. Don't you love Lily, Severus? Won't you do anything to protect her?"

"I love a time that has passed", said Snape slowly. "I love what might have been. But we have both changed too much. It's time I moved on".

"To what Severus? Forgive me for saying this, but you have led something of a cursed life when it comes to love. Your father despised you, your mother saw you as another burden. Your one saving grace, your one true friend, turned away from you in disgust upon realizing what you truly are like. What makes you think your luck will be better elsewhere?"

Snape glared at Dumbledore. "I know what your doing, manipulative old man. You could at least show some respect for my intelligence and do it more subtly".

Dumbledore smiled sadly and raised his hands in mock surrender. "The truly tragic thing about you Severus is that you are so perceptive, so intelligent. You can see what other people try to hide in the shadows. This means that you can perceive quite clearly that while I am trying to manipulate you, I am also telling you the truth. I think you have few delusions about your own nature".

"You're just mirroring my fears and insecurities back at me".

"Yes, but what makes you think your fears and insecurities aren't well grounded?"

"So I'm pathetic, unlovable and redeemed only in martyrdom," said Snape sarcastically.

Dumbledore smiled sadly at him and reached forward to brush some hair from Snape's face. He was pleased that Snape did not flinch away from him.

"My brave boy", he began "You wonderful man. I am merely trying to help you realize your full potential. Your love and the sacrifices you make for this love are the best thing about you. They turn you into a brave solider, a noble warrior and a savior of the innocent. It is the one thing darkness can never touch and never tarnish. I beg you, do not cast aside your love lightly, for it is your guiding light and without it I fear that you will become lost again in the darkness. Now, about Tom and his suspicions…..".

* * *

There, I finally fixed the frigging frustrating and flumoxing formating :)

Thank you to Wynnleaf for making this comprehensible. She's a legend. any mistakes you find are not her fault. I wish she would write something herself with a sarcastic Snape and Malfoy in it.

Yes; in case you are wondering the style of writing in the chapters from harry's perceptive are meant to reflect the fact he is a child. I was apologising for doing things like writing "they're" instead of "their" etc.

am I too hard on dumbledore in this?


	5. Chapter 6

Attributing Blame

Mum and dad are fighting.

It's my fault because I wet the bed and because I'm not very good and because I didn't clean my room and because I didn't eat all my vegetables and because I split the milk yesterday when I was pouring it onto my cereal even though it was in the little blue jug that is easy to pour and because I can't stop crying.

I want them to stop.

I WANT THEM TO STOP.

Dad is calling Mum Bad names that Ron's brothers know and that you should never call anyone because it's not very nice and you should only treat people like you want to be treated and those words are not fit for polite company and you shouldn't say them otherwise you will have to wash your mouth out with a bar of soup.

Mum and Dad love each other.

Mum said that they love each other and that they both love me and they will always love me even when I'm bad and break things and spill the milk and wet my bed and even when I'm mean to Ginny and they will always love me and protect me and that we are a family and that families never stop loving each other.

People who love each other are kind and gentle and don't hurt each other and they rescue each other from towers and from dragons and from dark wizards and people who love each other kiss and hug each other and tuck their children in at night and they read them bedtime stories.

AND THEY DON'T YELL AT EACH OTHER.

Uncle Siri and Remus are just standing there and they aren't doing anything to stop them and they are meant to love us too because we are all family and families don't hurt each other and they don't stand back and watch when everything is falling apart like when you're playing exploding snap and you don't stack the cards right and it all falls down in your face and explodes.

Families shouldn't explode.

Why don't they do anything? Why don't they stop it? I WANT THEM TO STOP I WANT THEM TO STOP IWANTTHEMTOSTOPIWANTTHEMTO...

"Potter, wake up..."

And they stop.

I open my eyes and look at the Death-Eater-man. He is leaning over me. I'm in bed.

He sighs, sits down on mum's-reading-bedtime-stories-chair and rubs his eyes, "You were dreaming so loudly I could barely hear myself think".

"I'm sorry", I say, then I think a bit about what he just said. "How could you hear me dream?"

He smiles his not-very-nice smile, "I have very good hearing".

"Like a bat?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"Uncle Siri says you're a bat" I say.

He sighs again, I think he looks really tired. "Your mother and father have been fighting?" he asks.

I shrug, "sometimes".

"It's not your fault and it doesn't mean that they don't love you" he says. He sounds sad.

"Why do they fight?" I ask.

He doesn't answer straight away. Instead he sucks in a whole lot of air and then hisses it out between his teeth, then he scratches his nose, then he scratches the back of his neck and then he sighs again.

"Maybe you should talk to your mother about this" he finally says.

"She gets sad when I ask her stuff like that".

"I don't know why they are fighting".

"Is it because of a grown up reason?"

"Maybe".

"You think I won't understand".

"I genuinely have no idea why they are fighting".

"Because I'm not a baby and I'm not stupid... What's 'guenily'?"

"Genuinely, it means I'm not lying. I know you are not a baby".

"I'm not stupid either".

"I know. You seem to have avoided inheriting most of your father's unfortunate traits".

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I don't think you are stupid".

"Good. Ginny's stupid".

"Is that so?"

"One time, Ron's brother Fred told Ginny to eat some mud and she ate it and then Fred told Mrs Weasley that me and Ron made her eat it and then Mrs Weasley yelled at me and Ron".

"hmmm..."

"Fred and George can be really mean. One time they locked me and Ron in a cupboard for ages and Uncle Siri found us and let us out but he didn't tell on Fred and George because he said it was funny".

"Why didn't you and Ron tell on Fred and George?"

"Because Uncle Siri said it was funny".

"Oh".

"Uncle Siri has a motorcycle. It's really cool".

"That's nice".

"But sometimes Uncle Siri is mean. He shouldn't be mean just because he has a motorcycle".

"You're right, motorbike ownership is probably not a defense that would stand up in court".

"He's mean to you".

"That's OK, I'm mean back".

"He's mean to Wormtail as well".

"Who is that?"

"One of dad's friends".

"You mean Remus?"

"No... Wormtail is little and chubby and talks funny".

"Do you mean Peter Pettergrew?"

"Dad and Uncle Siri called him Wormtail".

"hmm".

"That's not a nice name".

"It does not sound very flattering".

"They laugh at him".

"When did you meet Mr Pettergrew?"

"After the Meeting".

"Hmm"

"He's nice, he gave me a chocolate frog".

"At least he is good for something".

"Why is it not my fault?"

"What?"

"How do you know it's not my fault if you don't know why they are fighting".

He stretches, "do you think you could try going back to sleep".

I narrow my eyes and cross my arms, "you are being manipulative?"

"How do you know that word?"

"Dad called Mum manipulative. I asked Remus about it and he said that it's when you're trying to get the other person to do something that they don't want to do".

"I'm not lying".

"You're not answering my question".

He sighs again "I think they are under a lot of stress at the moment and sometimes adults who are under a lot of stress say and do things that they wouldn't normally" he says.

"Oh", I say.

He smiles his-not-very-nice-smile, "go to sleep little Potter" he says.

I yawn, "I think I know why your eyes don't crinkle up when you smile" I say.

He stands up and starts tucking the covers around me like Mum does.

"Your eyes don't crinkle up because you 're sad" I say.

"Really?" He asks, and he smiles his smile again. It looks like Mum's smile does before she starts crying.

"You shouldn't let Uncle Siri and Dad and the-father-Christmas-man and Mum and Remus make you sad", I say.

"Goodnight little Potter" he says. He starts to walk towards the door.

"It's not your fault either" I say.

He stops at the door and looks at me from the door. I can't see his face, but that doesn't matter because what he does is more important than what he says or how mean looking he can make his face.

"What isn't?" he asks.

"What made you sad".

"Why is it not my fault?" he asks.

"Cause you're nice" I say.

He makes a choking noise that sounds a little bit like he's laughing. "I think that's the first time anyone has ever said that to me" he says.

"They should" I say, then I yawn again.

"Goodnight Harry Potter" he says.

"Could you stay?"

"I suppose I can". He goes back to Mum's chair. "Goodnight".

"Night".

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Thank you to wynnleaf for making this chapter comprehensible and making Harry sound closer to his age. I didn't follow all of her advice because I decided there were somethings I had to have Harry say for the sake of the story.

I promise to update again before the start of next year.


	6. Chapter 7

Chocolate Frogs;

I like frogs. Sometimes me and Ron and Ginny and Fred and George pretend to be frogs. We put a blanket over our heads and jump on the beds, because when you pretend to be a frog the floor is made of lava and you can't touch it. Also, when you are a frog you are only allowed to say "rabbit rabbit rabbit" which I don't understand because we aren't pretending to be rabbits.

When we pretend to be frogs Mum or Mrs Weasley yell at us for making our rooms messy and for jumping on the beds. But Dad and Uncle Sirus think it's funny and sometimes they pretend to be sharks that swim around in the lava and try to grab our feet.

One time just me and Dad were playing and mum came in and she started getting angry about how messy everything was. But Dad said that we would clean everything up later and that Mum should be a frog too. So Mum pretended to be a frog with me, and Dad pretended to be a shark and after that we had spaghetti for dinner and Dad showed me this really cool spell for making the room clean and then we watched Mr Weasley's muggle TV and Mum let me stay up past my bed time.

But that was a long time ago.

You can get chocolate frogs which move and taste really nice but I don't like eating them when they are still moving even though Remus explained to me that they aren't real and that they don't feel any pain. When I was little I tried to keep one as a pet. But it melted because I left it in the sun. Mum said that it had gone to the giant stomach in the sky. I think that means that there is a giant stomach that lives with the sun and the moon in the sky but you can't see it because it doesn't reflect or produce light which is why Remus says you can see the moon and the sun and all that even though they are really far away.

Mum showed me a picture of a stomach in one of her science books and it looks like a big slimy ball with bits sticking out. Sometimes I think about the chocolate frog and the house elf and my goldfish all in the giant stomach together. I hope they like it in there. Sometimes I leave the stomach bits of food so it doesn't get hungry and eat me or Mum or Dad or Ron or anyone.

Wormtail always brings me a chocolate frog. Dad and Sirus are mean to him and Remus and Mum talk to him like he is stupid but I think he is very nice. He always asks me and Ron about stuff that has been happening and who has visited and who has made reports and who has been hurt. He cares about what happens to everyone a lot. He also asks me about the Death Eater Man. I don't tell him much about Death Eater Man though because I don't think the Death Eater Man wants anyone to know that he talks to me.

Wormtail always thanks me and Ron after we tell him stuff and tells us that we are very smart. He also told me that he thinks that I would make a good Spy because I remember lots. Sometimes I pretend to be a Spy and hide were the old house elf used to live and listen to everyone. When I do that I put on all black clothes and make my hair hang over my face and frown a lot even though no one is there to see. Sometimes I practice smiling-not-very-nicely in the mirror when I am brushing my teeth. I never play Spy with other people though, because a Spy has to rely on himself.

I want to be a Spy when I grow up because to be a spy you have to be very clever and very brave. I think to be a spy you have to be even braver than an member of the Order.

I think if I was a Spy Mum would worry a lot because being a Spy is dangerous. But I think Dad would be happy because it would I wouldn't be a baby or a whiny little brat any more.

Wormtail told me to follow him outside after the meeting. I'm not allowed to go outside unless I am with Mum or Dad but Wormtail said that it is alright because he asked Mum and she said it is OK.

Wormtail smiles at me. He has a nice smile, his eyes get all crinkly at the ends. "Would you like a chocolate frog now or would you like one later?"

"Could I have one now and one later?" I ask.

Wormtail laughs and ruffles my hair, "you are a cheeky one ".

"No" I say.

"you'll get all the chocolate frogs you could possibly want after you meet my friend" he says.

"Does your friend own a chocolate factory?" I ask.

"No" says Wormtail, "but he will send you somewhere where there are a lot of chocolate frogs and toys, somewhere beyond this veil of tears, as they say".

"Oh" I say, "will Mum and Dad be there?"

"Soon" says Wormtail.

"What's the veil of tears?" I ask..

"Not a very nice place" says Wormtail.

"Will I have to stay there before I go to the place with the chocolate frogs and the toys?" I ask.

"No", says Wormtail, "No you won't have to stay", he smiles again, "take my hand".

I hold his hand and everything disappears in a big spiral of air and noise and darkness.

* * *

thank to everyone who has reviewed. This is not going to have an happy ending.


	7. Chapter 8

(don't get too excited about the length of this. I left a 600 word reply at the end for the people who reviewed)

Motivations

The world keeps spinning faster and faster and colours mix up together. I think I'm going to be sick.

Then it stops and me and Wormtail are in a forest.

Mum read me this story about two children who get left in this forest because their family doesn't have enough food and the children go to this witch's house that was made of chocolate and lollies and stuff and then they pushed the witch into her own oven and then they ate the house. I don't know if they ate the witch. But it's fair enough if they did because the witch wanted to eat them and she was making them do housework and stuff.

This forest looks a bit like the picture of the forest in the book. It's all dark and scary and all the trees look a bit like knobbly people with knobbly eyes and knobbly noses. I don't think Wormtail likes it either because he sends up this light into the sky.

The light looks funny though. It's a skull with a snake in it. It doesn't look very nice.

'What's that?" I say.

"It's a signal, so the man I told you about knows where to find us" says Wormtail.

"That's good" I say.

I don't like being here very much but I don't want to whine like a baby because dad would want me to be brave and because the man who is coming might not give me any chocolate.

"Ages ago when I had my Birthday Uncle Siri took me flying on his motorbike and we went up really high so we could see all the lights from all the houses and all the cars and houses looked really tiny", I say, because Wormtail isn't saying anything and it's weird.

"Be quiet" says Wormtail. He has his wand out and is looking a bit scared. Then I see something moving in the trees. Wormtail shoves me in-front of him and shoves his wand into my neck.

Snape steps out and smiles at Wormtail. It's his very _very_ not-very-nice smile. "Hello" he says.

"What are you doing here?" says Wormtail.

"A little bit of this, a little bit of that" says Snape.

"You put me under a tracking spell?" says Wormtail.

"That would be the obvious explanation" says Snape.

"The only reason you would do that is if you were working for Dumbledore" says Wormtail.

"Perhaps" says Snape.

"Where's the rest of the Order?" says Wormtail.

"Behind you" says Snape.

Wormtail laughs, but he doesn't sound very happy. "Don't they trust you Snivilly?"

"I expect they'll be coming soon" says Snape.

"You followed me here without telling anyone" says Wormtail.

"I left a message" says Snape.

"_He _will be here soon" says Wormtail, "You're too late".

"Perhaps" says Snape. He starts to walk around us slowly. Wormtail spins me around so we are facing him.

"He _will_ kill you" says Wormtail.

"Probably" says Snape.

"Traitor" says Wormtail.

"Funny" says Snape.

"I told him, I told him you couldn't be trusted" says Wormtail.

"That was insightful of you" says Snape.

"You'll scream while he finishes you" says Wormtail. "Maybe he'll even let me have a turn".

"Maybe" says Snape.

"Don't you want to know why I did it?" says Wormtail.

"Not really" says Snape.

"He threatened to kill me" says Wormtail.

"Which put you in an awkward position" says Snape.

"I'm not stupid, I'm not taken in by all that pseudo-moralistic crap. I know I won't be rewarded in some fluffy-pink afterlife for sacrificing myself on some Dumbledore-made alter" says Wormtail.

"Probably not" says Snape.

"James and Sirius and Remus are the cowards. They're afraid of leaving Hogwarts and entering the real world. They're afraid to think for themselves" says Wormtail.

"Thought is a scary prospect for the uninitiated" says Snape.

"It's not like they're even dieing for an worthy ideal. They are dieing for a mixture of peer-pressure and school-yard loyalty" says Wormtail.

"True" says Snape.

"I'm not that weak" says Wormtail.

"Good for you" says Snape.

"You think I'm wrong?" says Wormtail.

"No" says Snape.

"You're doing this for Lily?" says Wormtail.

"No" says Snape.

"Dumbledore offered you a big pile of gold?" says Wormtail.

"No" says Snape.

"Why then?" says Wormtail.

There is a big flash of green light. Wormtail falls down and Snape runs over to me.

"Are you alright?"says Snape.

"Yes" I say, "There isn't any Chocolate is there?"

"What?" says Snape.

"Wormtail said he was taking me to see a man who would send me and mum and dad on holiday and give us chocolate" I say.

Snape laughs, "Your mum really needs to talk to you about talking to strangers" he says.

"But I talked to you when you were a stranger, and that's how we became friends" I say.

"Thus proving my point" says Snape "good things rarely come from befriending me".

"Yes they do" I say.

"If you say so" says Snape. He reaches out his hand, I take it and we start spinning again.

I don't like it any more the second time and I still think I am going to be sick. I think really hard about keeping everything in my stomach because I think that Snape would be angry if I threw up on him and I don't want him to be angry with me.

I think mum and dad might be angry because it was a bit stupid of me to follow Wormtail out of the house. Even if he had a chocolate frog.

When we stop spinning we are still in the forest. Snape looks really scared. He pulls me behind him.

Everything is really quite. I can hear my heart go "boom boom boom".

Then I hear the sound of clapping.

* * *

_A/N  
_

_I apologize for the general suckieness of this chapter. I was trying to build suspense._

_I also apologize for not replying to the people who have reviewed. I have a dodgy internet connection because I am from NZ. For those who don't know; NZ is run by sheep, our national bird cannot fly and we have crap internet connections._

_So I am going to respond down here, so the people who reviewed don't have there inboxes randomly fulled up from a story they reviewed months ago. Also, I prefer it when fanfic writers reply like this._

_I think there is a rule against this, so I also apologize to ._

_Celtic goat, Kate, halfbloodprincesa, Severewrath, wandamarie; Thank you :)_

_Kamp; poor harry. I think I might be making him too innocent. But then he's 6 so..._

_J.L.M Potter; I know, I suck, but in my defense, it is at least partly because of the crappy internet connection. Also I was living in China when I wrote chapters 3-5. umm...I can't really tell you that without spoiling the end._

_Demonwings; I'm sorry. But I don't think there is any way this could end well. I will try to give it some meaning._

_Akuma; I promise no one will be tortured._

_Karjaravaras; I know, I suck. But my country is run by sheep. Thank you for the very flattering review._

_Aprryn; you make sense (and I think the same)_

_apprenticeassian; (are you a robin hobb fan?) you should read the "curious incident of the dog in the night". Harry's voice is largely based of that and I don't do it justice._

_Firstimewriter; if I let this go on any longer it will will never end. But I think the potters probably would get divorced._

_Ali-chan; thanks, sorry._

_Kayya; thanks, I corrected this._

_Attackfishscales; sorry, you are really going to hate me if you keep reading._

_Nymma; totally agree._

_Soror nocitis; I can't tell you. Maybe._

_Ignus R; I can't really reply to this without giving away too much of the end._

_Sarabande 47; that occurred to me after I wrote it. But he is an optimist, like most 6 year olds._

_Donroth; sorry. I'm from NZ._

_Whitehound; really? Damn. That is a good example of the movies corrupting canon. I haven't even seen the movies. I am leaving it in there because I find it creepy._

_Matt Quin; thanks. I hope I fixed that._

_Anybody; why can't i spread the paragraphs out more?  
_


	8. Chapter 9

Warning; Character death.

Games

Snape picks me up and starts running. The trees get closer together and he has too push his way through them. There are noises all around now, like something is moving really fast around us.

Snape is breathing really loudly. I can still hear my heart go "boom boom boom" like it's a drum

I really want my Mum. And my Dad. I want this to go away. I want to be sick.

The trees are moving like people. They are grabbing at us with branch-arms and twig-fingers. Snape cuts them with his wand but more keep reaching out for us. Snape isn't moving very fast now and the sound keeps getting closer and closer.

I can see a person looking at me from behind a tree. His skin is all gray and sick looking. His eyes don't look right. He reaches out and touches me. His hand is cold. He tries to grab my arm.

Snape sees him and says a bad word that Mum said Uncle Siri is never allowed to say in front of me.

Snape sets fire to the person. From the light from the fire I can see more people. They all have gray skin. They are all around us. I can see their not-right eyes looking at us from between the trees.

Snape takes a deep breath and then says something that makes a lot of fire come out of his wand. It goes "woooossssh" and it sets fire to a lot of the trees and gray people. It also makes a lot of smoke. It makes my eyes water. Snape makes a bubble appear around his head. It makes his face look funny. Then he does the same to me.

All I can hear is the "boom boom boom" of my heart and me breathing which sounds like "hhhha-urrgh, hhha-urrgh, hhhha-urrgh" like I'm in a bottle.

I want my Mum. I don't want to be a spy anymore. I want to go home and go to bed.

The tree-roots start moving like snakes. They try to curl around us. One grabs my leg and Snape blasts it with his wand.

My heart is still beating really loud but it's slowed down. It's "boom...boom...boom" now, like it wants to go to sleep. My head feels all fuzzy. I still want to be sick.

The roots of the trees keep trying to grab us. Snape keeps nearly falling over. Like he's tired and he can't lift his feet properly. The roots twist themselves around his boots and his legs. He has to break them every time he lifts his leg.

Something is moving around us still. It keeps getting closer and closer. I can't see it because of the smoke. Sometimes I can see two red lights, like glowing red eyes.

Then there is no more smoke. We are where we started from. I can see the skull with the snake in it and Wormtail. Wormtail is lying down and his head is facing the wrong way.

I can hear clapping again. A man with really white skin steps out from behind the trees. He is smiling. He has red eyes.

He flicks his hand and the bubbles on my head and Snape's head disappear. Then the man laughs. He has this squeaky laugh. It sounds silly.

Snape puts me down and puts me behind him. He is shaking.

"Hello Sssseverusss" says the man. He has a squeaky voice too. And a lisp.

Snape doesn't say anything.

"Why did you run away Sssseverussss?" says the squeaky man.

Snape says nothing. His hand has gone white around his wand.

"You hurt my feelingss Sssseverussss" says the squeaky man.

Snape shrugs.

The squeaky man laughs, squeakily. He sounds like a cartoon mouse. "I supposse you are sssacrificing yourself for your one-true-love's child? " he says.

"No" says Snape.

"For Dumbledore'sss Greater Good?" says the squeaky man.

"No" says Snape.

"For Glory, God and Country?" says the squeaky man.

"I don't believe in God" says Snape.

The squeaky man laughs, "Then what motivatessss you, Sssseveruss. What carrot doessss Dumbledore dangle before you? What stick doessss Dumbledore beat you with?"

"It's because he's nice" I say. Snape tries to shove me further behind him.

"He isss?" says the squeaky man. He raises his eyebrow.

"He is, and he's brave too" I say.

The squeaky man laughs his squeaky laugh, "Are you brave, little boy?" he says.

"Yes" I say.

"Are you ssscared of me?" He says.

"No" I say.

"Why not?" says the squeaky man.

I shrug. I might hurt his feelings if I say it's because he has a silly voice

"Are you afraid of death, little boy?" he says

Death is the goldfish and the house elf. Death is not seeing Mum and Dad ever again. Death is not seeing or hearing or smelling or tasting anything again. Death is when everything stops.

"Yes, I'm afraid of death" I say.

"I am not afraid" says the squeaky man. "I am going to conquer death. I will live forever" He sounds really proud.

Forever is a long time. Saying the word forever is like looking into the space between stars and trying to see what is behind everything. Forever is a very lonely word.

'Won't you get bored and lonely when everything else dies?" I say.

"No" says the squeaky man, "I don't need anyone else".

"Not even your Mum?" I say.

"I am completely self reliant" says the squeaky man.

"Oh" I say. "I think I would get bored and lonely".

"Then you wouldn't object to dieing now?" says the squeaky man.

"Just because I don't want to live forever doesn't mean I want to die now" I say. The squeaky man is not very smart.

"Not even if it's to save your friend Ssseveruss?" he says.

"Ignore him Harry" Snape says. I look at Snape. He is holding my arm really tightly.

"If you don't die for me, little boy, I will hurt him, I will make him ssscream. I will make him beg for death" says the squeaky man.

"What are you playing at?" says Snape. He tries to move backwards but his feet are stuck to the ground. "What's the point in negotiating?"

"I am demonssstrating, Ssseverusss, for your education and amusement, the pointlesness of sssacrifice" says the squeaky man. "I am demonstrating how thisss young lad has been brainwashed into placing others before himsssself. I am ssshowing you how useless it isssss. I hope you are paying attention".

I look at Snape and I think about things. He is an adult and a spy and he knows a lot of spells and stuff. He is really brave and he doesn't give up. Even though his feet are stuck in the ground he is still trying to save me. He probably has saved lots of peoples lives.

I don't save peoples lives because I'm a kid. I might one day when I've been to Hogwarts and I have gone to spy school, but I don't save lives now.

Also, it is my fault Snape is here. I'm the one who followed Wormtail.

"If I let you kill me you'll let Snape go?" I say.

"He's lying to you, Harry" says Snape.

"Sssshhhhhh" says the squeaky man. He puts his fingers up to his lips like he wants Snape to be quiet. When he does mist comes out of his mouth. The mist goes over to Snape. Snape stops moving.

I wiggle my arm out from beneath Snape's fingers. They are frozen like icicles. I step out from behind Snape. His eyes can still move and he's looking at me like he's trying to yell stuff from his mind. I look at him and try and tell him everything will be alright. He closes his eyes like I hurt him.

I'm scared, but I walk up to the squeaky man with my head up.

"Why do you want to kill me?" I say.

"Because of a prophecy" the squeaky man says. "Because it will make me invincible".

"What's invin...cible?" I say.

"Being invincible means nothing can hurt you" the squeaky man says.

"I don't want to hurt you" I say.

"When you are older, you might change your mind" says the squeaky man.

"What if I promise not to hurt you" I say.

"You might hurt me accidentally" says the squeaky man.

"What's acci..dead...ally?" I say.

"Not on purpose, or by mistake" says the squeaky man.

"Oh" I say. I think about this for a bit.

"But anyone might hurt you accideadlly"

"No, only you might"

"Why only me?"

"Because of the prophecy"

"What's a prop..it...ecy?" .

"Ask Severus" the squeaky man smiles.

"I can't" I say. Which is true, because the squeaky man froze Snape.

"A prophecy is a prediction about what is going to happen in the future" says the squeaky-man.

"What?"

"A prophecy saysss what will happen in the future" says the squeaky man. I think the he is starting to get annoyed.

"And...this proh...itchy says I will hurt you?"

"Yes".

"Oh" I say. This doesn't make much sense.

"If you don't let me kill you I will hurt Severus" the squeaky man says.

"Why?" I say.

"Becaussse _I_ am _not_ a _nice_ perssson".

"How do I know you won't kill me and then kill Snape?" I say.

The squeaky man smiles, his eyes crinkle up at the ends. "I'll promi_sssss_e" he says.

"and you'll really mean it" I say.

"Of coursssse" he says.

Everyone knows you can't break promises you _really_ mean. Even Ginny knows that and she is only five.

I think about things some more. Death might be going to sleep, or it might be going to the big stomach in the sky. If it's going to the big stomach in the sky then I will see Mum and Dad eventually. If it's a big sleep then I won't _know _that I won't see Mum and Dad any more.

Dad would want me to be brave. Mum would be sad but I think she would be proud of me.

"If I let you kill me you promise that you won't hurt Snape?" I say.

"I promissse" he says.

"_Really_ promise" I say.

"I '_Really_' promissse" he says.

"Cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die-stick-a-needle-in-your-eye?" I say.

"I-crosssss-my-heart-and-hope-to-die-stick-a-needle-in-my-eye" He says.

He reaches out his hand. I shake it.

I take a step back and say goodbye to Mum and Dad in my head.

Then the world turns green.

* * *

A/N

Twinheart; thank you

Aprrayn; sorry, i'm glad you liked the last chapter :), I was worried that the wormtail-snape dialogue wasn't all that convincing. Took me ages to write.

Firstimewriter; i'd just like to say that I didn't have harry die because u thought (and a lot of other people thought) it was going to be snape. your ending would have worked well tho. But I decided I wanted snape to learn something, so I couldn't kill him off. Still, I like your ending.

Duj; yes, probably the worst possible ending from snape's point of view. But I would like to think he wouldn't drown himself in guilt (as much as cannon indicates otherwise).

Celtic goat; thanks, yeah, poor snape.

Ancient midnight; wouldn't that be nice.

Pygmy puff of doom; sorry, I am very lazy. I'm glad u like the potters and dumbledore.

Whitehound; thanks for the answer to the formatting question. ... this is worse for him than him dieing.

Lalala; thanks, I want harry to get snape to realize he (snape) shouldn't let them take him for granted :)

; thanks :)

wandamarie; thanks :)

padawan jan -aq; thanks :)

jessirose85; thanks :)

attachfishscales; I think u probably hate me now.

Ignus r; thanks for the advice, doesn't work. You probably hate me too.

Ali chan; …and it just got worse. I possibly shld re-label this angst.

Torimiu; thanks. At least this time it's not a cliffhanger. Well it sort off is.


	9. Chapter 10

**Nothing lasts forever;**

_I am_ _Death's Master. Death welcomed me into the world and bent itself to my will. It bowed before me, it worshipped me. It is my servant, my slave, my right hand, my final mercy…_

_It will never master me..._

Severus seems distressed. I wonder if my demonstration has been instructive.

"Wasss that painful to watch?" I ask.

Severus blinks at me, I remember that he is still frozen. I suppose if this discussion is to be fruitful, I have to allow him the use of his mouth. I unfreeze him. He swallows, but doesn't say anything.

"It isss interesting that his admiration, his 'love' for you resulted in his death. He died for you, like a brave little solider. Are you proud? I assume he learnt pointlessss-ssself-sssacrifice from you".

Severus continues to look blank. Perhaps it is shock.

"You aren't even a particularly good martyr. You couldn't even manage to die first".

Severus shuts his eyes.

"Forgive me for saying this, but you have led something of a cursed life when it comes to love. Your father despised you, your mother saw you as another burden. Your one saving grace, your one true friend, turned away from you in disgust upon realizing what you truly are like. Did you think saving her son would make a difference?"

Severus opens his eyes and looks at me consideringly. This is unsettling. I think I will have his eyes removed. But first I will drive my point home.

"The truly tragic thing about you Severussss, is that you are so perceptive, so intelligent, yet you are deluded about your own nature. You are irredeemable, and therefore you cannot be redeemed by martyrdom. They will never love you, they will never even like you. There is something truly repulsive about you that makes all who come in contact with you despise you. And you still haven't accepted it".

Severus shrugs. "You're just mirroring my fears and insecurities back at me". He says this like he is quoting it from somewhere.

"Yes, but what makes you think your fears and insecurities aren't well grounded?"

Severus smiles oddly. I don't like that. I reach forward to brush some of the hair out of his face. I am pleased that he flinches away from me.

"My brave boy", I began "My disloyal servant. I am merely trying to help you realize your error. Your love and the sacrifices you make for this love are the thing that brought you to this place. They turned you into a slavish follower of Dumbledore, a deluded warrior and a savior of the ungrateful. Everything you do is tarnished by darkness".

Severus continues to smile. Maybe the terror has broken his mind. I continue;

"You have lost Severusssss. They will blame you for the boy and Wormtail's death. That lovely girl will spit on your grave and curse your name. Dumbledore will curse the day he decided to trust you. All because of 'love', Severus. 'Your guiding light' has betrayed you and lead you into darkness".

Snape is still smiling. Maybe I will remove his lips first, or his teeth.

"You will die alone Severusss. Alone and unloved and afraid. You will leave this world as you entered it. All for nothing. But not until you _realisssse_ how truly _worthlessss _you are".

He starts to laugh. Not hysterically, not like he's afraid, but like I have told him a very funny joke.

_I don't like it._

"Do you think I did all of this because I wanted them to like me?" he asks. "That I did it for a school yard crush? Why do you insist on complicating matters".

He is mad. His fear of me must have snapped his mind completely.

"The fact that you are a mad melodramatic sadist with a snake fetish is more than enough motivation to defy you. You don't need to further complicate it by throwing unrequited love into the mix" he says.

He just mocked me. The pathetic little _weakling_ mocked me. Why isn't he afraid of me? The boy wasn't afraid of me either.

_What did they know?_

"I don't deny that I had some rather melodramatic fantasies involving me dying rather dramatically in her arms", he continues, "but that was never a primary motivating factor. I did what I did, I choose what I choose, because I am basically a good person".

"Becausse you are a good perssson" I hiss doubtfully.

"I am a bit sarcastic and a lot of people seem to hate me, but I think overall the world has benefited from my existence". He offers me a mock bow, "thank you for helping me to realise that".

"And because of this do you think you will receive some sort of reward after your death?" I spit.

He considers, "No, a God and a afterlife don't really make any sense to me. But I have the satisfaction of knowing that I played the hand I was dealt well".

"For the greater good?" I hiss mockingly.

He looks at me levelly. "No, for the good of people who needed it. The moral majority, the ones who make up the 'greater good' don't really need help from the likes of me".

"You are going to die" I hiss, "_ssslowly_, over many months".

He looks at me with pity in his eyes, like the boy.

_What do they know?_

"Nothing lasts forever" he says, "that is life's greatest redeeming feature, and it's greatest tragedy".

"I _will_ last forever" I say.

He smiles.

He is already mad. There is nothing to be gained from torturing him.

_I want him gone._ He must know some way to destroy me, if he isn't afraid of me.

"Avada kavada" I say.

He smiles.

The world turns green.

_Death will never master meeee..._

_

* * *

_

**Epilogue;**

_Pain...beyond anything I have ever experienced..._

But I will survive, I owe young Potter that much.

**The End...**

* * *

Thank you to all those who reviewed.


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